I have been on holidays from school and ever since then I felt as if I had an epiphany. About life, about love, and about how I can capture the world, instead of waiting to be captured by the world.
It’s kind of crazy, now that I think about it. I was going to school happily for the majority of 2017, then all of a sudden, a reality I never knew, hit me. I was scared of this reality when I first encountered it, but eventually I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I elaborated more in my last posts, but I realised mainly over the last two weeks, that I am finishing school and stepping into the big world now. It’s not this microcosm where everyone worries about whether they had finished their homework or not. It’s something so much more bigger than all of us and our small thoughts. Bills, reality, life.
Looking back at it now, I can’t believe that my schoolmates and I worried about whether we finished an essay or not. When we stressed unnecessarily. Fun times. Slowly ending my high school life, I started to realise this even more. With that came a form of desperation to get my life sorted… Find a way to stay on top of life instead of drowning in it. From that, I planned where I wanted to be in the next few years, how I want my life to turn out and what I want to achieve. I haven’t created a crazy trajectory yet, but I realised that I need to be mature now. School was a fairytale, that I enjoyed a lot. But it had to end. I just wasn’t aware of it.
This blog was what I fell on when I started to think.. I started to draft about it and put effort into it for once since last year. This blog was reignited not because I realised that the thing I thought was going to last forever, wasn’t going to last forever. It was because I realised that I can go out into the real world, get a job and get easy money. Get a car, go rent a house and let people dictate my life. Start living an ordinary life. Or I can do things the way I want to. A lot of people in school still believe that they can succeed if they go to university for four years. That their lives will be promising. I could work years towards that if I wanted to. But some dying urge in me is fighting. Wondering why I can’t make my life happen right now. Why I can’t start a business, or do something so I don’t have to devolve into this cycle of waiting forever so that life will happen
I don’t like to blame anyone or anything for the way our educational systems are constructed. The way they favour people who choose to study, over trade jobs etc. There are good and bad things to everything to this world. I just know that a lot of people including me thought that getting a degree was a way to a promising life in the future. Jobs could be offered and we’d just jump straight into work. To an extent that is true, but what I’ve also realised is that there are so many other ways to take on life.
A friend who I know and will most likely keep very close to me is a major inspiration to me. During school, I saw him work on his business, building himself up and working very hard. He already concluded he wasn’t the educational type of student, but if you would just look at him, he decided to take life within his hands. His life wasn’t dependent on a possibility, or a degree, one day he decided to start a business and probably by this time next year, he will be guaranteed work. All because he chose to control his life. Yes, there was compromise. I guarantee that he is intelligent, he was just smart in his intelligence.
I feel that is why I have come to this blog. Not because I’m desperate, but because I don’t want to spend the next few years of my life working jobs that I won’t like. I want to breathe doing what I love. Like my friend, I want to take control of my life, today and forever.
I don’t know where this blog will take me. But some part of me doesn’t care. All I know is that if you love something enough, it’s bound to love you back.
Thank you for reading,
– Locke Dor