I’m back again – here at my refuge, my blog.

Hello everyone. A lot has happened since I have last written to you, and I can’t entirely say if it is good or bad, or something in between. But it happened, and I don’t know if I am the sayer of all things, but here I am, talking to you, as it is nearing the end of the night.

I have a job. Okay, so I never thought that I could have ever achieved this, but I am so grateful it. I won’t delve into the semantics of why I am so excited about it, but think one word. Freedom. Oh, just to make it sound fancier. Emancipation. Emancipation from hopelessness, and from the idea that I cannot do anything to help a situation I desperately want to help. For the burden to be lifted off of my shoulders, I am thankful to god, as he recognised my pain and decided to alleviate it.

It’s hard, fast pace and completely different to things that I have ever done, but that is all I am going to say. I’m not going to complain, nor am I going to boast on how I love it extremely. I’ll just stay on this safe line of appreciating but not making crazy assumptions on how this has opened up so many doors and opportunities in my life. Although it has…

I’m just moving, and moving in a motion I have yet to completely understand.

Second of all, I have realised how adulthood is pressuring. No longer can I read a book without feeling like its a luxury. No longer can I get up and feel like taking a 5 minute social media break, might be in fact toxic, and can lead to hours of procrastination. All of a sudden, I’ve been given this awareness, that I have to be proactive as much as I can, in order to move, become something in this lonesome world. If I don’t, I’ll never achieve my wild dreams… And I’m too selfish to let those run…

I don’t know whether I’ll ever achieve them. I honestly don’t know how to feel about this chapter in my life. Happiness or excitement? Sadness or relief? I miss school, my teachers and being able to read for the sake of an assignment. So this chapter is daunting. Because now I have been given the luxury of time,

no longer will anyone save me. And that is the scariest feeling in the whole world…

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