Figuring out myself, one bit at a time.

Every morning I wake up. In those moments, I go through a variation of a few emotions. One being annoyance that the sun is hitting my face, in the most unfortunate way; and the second being that once again I’m following the same pattern of living day to day with no real sense of direction for anything.

I’ve found that life can be quite disappointing, and honestly really mediocre. In that realisation, I’ve also begun to notice that only a small few ever get to live what they love, and not become a slave to this world. Some are more free than others.

It’s currently 12am right now, and have found myself browsing the net for courses that I could possibly study within the next year or so. I guess I’m slowly becoming ready for school again, and that thought makes me really excited. I came across a couple and it really opened up my mind, in a sense where I got to look at potential career options and just overall being in that environment again.

To be honest, I really do miss school.

But I’m somewhat a little antsy because the reality is, if I am going to study, it really has to be something worth studying, not something silly like creative writing, or literary studies, although that’s what I really want to do.

So, I’m in a bit of a predicament.

But I also know that nothing is impossible, and this helplessness I feel can be alleviated within this small vicinity called myself. If I work hard enough, really perfect my art, I can get where I want, and eventually study what I want to study, without the worry that it won’t provide me a good job.

Here’s to wishing for the best and eventually achieving everything I have wanted.

 

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