Script writing and blog drafting. And drama

 This is my start to exploring the unification of experience throughout humanity.

Today, I detached my self from education and chose to dedicate my time to writing. Writing and planning for future projects. It is quite ironic because I write as if I talk to an audience, but in reality it is just me, in this garage writing under a lamp filled with moths and mosquitoes. Did I mention I am wearing a short sleeved shirt and am letting my fingers freeze slowly.

Wait I’ll be back…

Okay, I just got me some gloves, but if I honestly have to say something, I have no idea where I am typing because my fingers are extremely large! Alright enough of the procrastination, this is meant to be a diary entry. So it all started on the 16th April 2016. My older sibling recently purchased some really cool stuff for my mothers birthday. I was genuinely excited. She also bought this card, a nice one that opens up and has a smaller folded piece of paper in the middle. My sibling obviously wrote in the middle of the folded piece of paper as that was where it naturally is meant to be shown. I wrote on the last, unexposed to attention.

Look, I don’t like to play games and expect people to read mind, so, I kind of just left it when it came to my mother opening it. I wrote a fair bit, personal and really appreciative on why I like her as my mother. So when it came to the day of her birthday, it was all good. She read the card, but inevitably only the first half. I know I said I don’t expect people to read thoughts but in that moment, but I thought will she turn the page at least a little bit just to expect ‘more’? Without hesitation, she got up and hugged my older sibling. Jealousy doesn’t fill me, but the expectations she has for me. I know I might be a bit harsh and all. But that is what I felt. Later that night, I decided to tell her that I did write something in the letter, as she was internet surfing on her phone. So like me, I tried to find it and couldn’t find it as of that moment. So I said I couldn’t find it, but the look of disinterest on her face was trench-worthy (is that a word?) So I just said, “maybe next time”. From then, I have kind of decided to measure my conversation between people. I tend to ramble a lot about me so I decided an alternative good for me and everyone else. I just hated the fact that sometimes I genuinely feel appreciative, but others perceptions are not reciprocated. Now, it is time where I don’t create expectations of how people should act towards me. I will be quiet, humble even if good will lurks in the shadows. So far, so good.

Let’s see how the days going forwards turns out.

 

Locke Dor

 

Excessive Conversation and Extreme Exaggeration.

 16th March 2016 РA day of excessive communication.
In comparison to my last, I have blurted out the unnecessary in which it has become effortlessly uncontrollable. Non – intentional expressions of dreams and occurrences dominate me in which my previous and unreliable character pastes against me, once again. You see, I have always been one to dream and have aspirations, but thats all my existence ever expressed; conversation. I fall into the influence of dreaming too hard that I base my dream on the feelings rather than the motivation; which remains a key element to success. So I sit here once again, in hopes of calming my internal desires and to be still. I don’t want to be a person known to converse imaginable destinies, for isn’t it everyones dream to eventually live in a reality? Well, There has been some upside elements towards the day of my exploration. It was during the still and hazy lesson of Literature. Henrik Ibsen he was…providing us with content also known as ‘The Doll’s House’. It wasn’t much but the conclusion of dramatising the scene… Oh how the nerves controlled my organs. And also the sense of change I felt. It wasn’t me but a character. A character out of my capabilities, but enraging me with its aura. Now that my awareness is open to my expression of the character, I feel shame and embarrassment in a pleasant way. As if I breached a veiled contract happily. May all go well in the future for my i aim to be consistent and loyal. Not only towards you, but to me in respect of my dreams…

An Introduction To An Introduction

10th March 2016, a day where one feels the intensity of ambition.
Today came many occurrences of when I encountered my true ambitions of life. Over three consecutive days, I have come to conclude that I should be premeditated and conformed. To be aware of my surroundings and to be still in a world that lives eternally. From my observations, I have come to obtain who I am and what I want to extract out of this generous globe which is, plentiful. However I have also tried to develop the skill of internal silence in which I keep the unnecessary to myself. It would be ironic, if I were to tell the deepest of secrets, however, although this is a profound journal entry, my true motive of existence would be vulnerable to the inquisitive minds of society. Even now I contradict myself partially however, this is mostly self recognition of who I will become in a few years time. So today I revolve around a school library writing what seems to be a diary entry that has no true information of how I have been today…
Locke Dor